


dangerous territory

by Nordyr



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Jealous Lexa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-13 15:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15367716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nordyr/pseuds/Nordyr
Summary: Without giving Clarke a reply, Lexa turned to the others.“We need to find a healer.”orthe one where Lexa has to ask Niylah to save Clarke’s life, and Lexa does not like it one bit.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silverlightdragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverlightdragon/gifts).



> So this was supposed to be a one-shot of Lexa getting a little jealous, but I got sidetracked and it turned into a full-blown canon story. I considered cutting it back a little – but can there ever be enough Clexa fiction?  
> Exactly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy and send me some love <3
> 
> (Kudos to silverlightdragon for coming up with this idea!)

Lexa’s face was hard and unforgiving, the same expression all of her people had come to know: the one that made farmers settle for less land than they had asked for, the one that made young boys and girls stumble over their words, the one that made Roan try not to shift in self-consciousness as he stood before her.

“Fine. With Nia dead, the Ice crown falls upon you. As much as I would like to believe that upon your return home you will do as we have agreed upon, I cannot take that risk.” Lexa’s eyes left Roan to glance at Clarke. Fiery-eyed, beautiful Clarke whose low cut dress had threatened to distract Lexa a little too often tonight. A dozen objections ran through Lexa’s mind but before she could stop herself the plan had been formed. “Clarke and I will escort you ourselves.”

“That’s really not nec-”

“It is decided,” Lexa interrupted Roan with a raise of her hand, leaving no room for discussion and no room for Clarke’s objections which, by the look on her face, were burning on her tongue. “We will leave tomorrow morning. I’ll see you at sunrise, King kom Azgeda.”

Roan’s amused expression looked more like a grimace. With a flick of her wrist Lexa dismissed the Ice party of three, causing Roan and the two of his Royal Guards to leave their spot in front of her throne.

Lexa felt powerful like this. It was a familiar position, one she knew she could fall into without hesitation by now. A mask she wore confidently, a game she excelled at. 

The armrests of her chair felt natural under her hands, her fingertip tracing over a dent in the wood where she had absentmindedly twisted her knife a little too often. Her red sash laid draped underneath her figure, legs crossed in a careless but regal manner, causing the inside of the knee on top to burn a little.

With another single word the guards at the door left the throne room as well, leaving only one other person in her company. 

“You’re not pleased,” Lexa recognized.

Clarke’s mouth opened and closed before she found the words to reply. “You could’ve at least asked me first.”

“I presumed you would not have other plans.” 

“That’s not the point,” Clarke objected. “I am not your prisoner anymore, Lexa. Just because I haven’t gone back to my people does not mean you get to tell me where to go.”

Lexa kept quiet, jaw tensing with unspoken words. Technically, now that the Sky people were the thirteenth clan, they fell under the commander’s rule – meaning that yes, _technically,_ Lexa did get to decide such things.

But none of that particularly mattered when it came to the Skaikru’s ambassador.

Clarke huffed out a breath and stalked forward a little; Lexa’s eyes followed the movement from where she remained in her chair. 

“Besides,” Clarke continued, her voice calmer now, “spending God knows how many days wandering through the wilderness just so we can make sure Roan gets back home doesn’t sound like the greatest plan.”

“Four days,” Lexa corrected, rising out of her throne. “The journey takes four days on horseback, ten by foot.”

It only took a few steps until she was in front of Clarke. It was odd how simply being alone with her made Lexa’s shoulders slump a little, made her feel like she didn’t have to keep a proud posture all the time. 

Her stomach fluttered as she kept Clarke’s gaze. She pushed it down with a breath.

“Roan and his people don’t need us to do this, Clarke. _Our_ people do.” Lexa moved to a nearby table and poured the both of them a drink. Even though she knew Clarke already understood what she meant, Lexa was eager to keep their conversation going. “If we wish to have any hope of keeping peace with the Ice Nation, we must see to it in person. Roan is our key to securing Azgeda’s cooperation. We will go with him because we need his people to trust us.”

Clarke accepted the cup Lexa offered her, glancing down at the watery wine but not making any move to drink it. “That’s why we’re doing this? For the coalition?”

Clarke seemed to look right through her, but Lexa raised her chin. “Would you rather leave it in someone else’s hands?”

There came no reply and Lexa straightened her spine, pleased she had convinced the both of them. 

“Besides,” she dared, a small smile creeping at the corner of her mouth, “you have had your fair share of wilderness. I’m sure we will be fine for those couple of days.”

 

//

 

“Clarke of the Sky people has honored us with her presence.”

With slight annoyance Clarke glanced up at the commander who was already perched proudly on a horse. The morning’s breeze was cool and smelled of rain, and the gray expanse above them was doing nothing to better Clarke’s mood.

A small party had come to see them off: a few generals and high-ranking guards who all focused their eyes on Clarke the moment she appeared. With a sigh she handed her backpack to a guard standing nearby, who strapped her belongings to the saddle of what would apparently be her horse. Clarke shifted in place, pouting as she imagined what she was getting into.

After months of surviving in the woods, Polis’ warm bed and cooked meals had been more than welcome, despite of how little she was willing to let on about that. Now she was saying all of that goodbye to spend a week on horseback so half-frozen people could cheer for the safe return of their king. 

Assuming, of course, that they didn’t kill them on sight. 

 

It had been less than a month since Clarke had arrived in Polis as Roan’s captive, less than a month since she had spat in Lexa’s face and had screamed out her rage over being abandoned at Mount Weather.

Things had changed drastically since then; only a week later the commander had dropped to her knees in front of her, had driven a spear through the Ice Nation’s queen, and had somehow made Clarke forgive her for her choice at the Mountain.

Since then, politics had been on the forefront of Clarke’s mind, leaving little space for other things. But every now and then, in the sole company of Lexa, something much more fragile hung between them. Something personal that caused both tension and comfort, leaving Clarke’s lips tingling with the reminder of a kiss and an ache in her chest for something _more._

 

Clarke settled her foot onto the saddle stirrup, frowning as her horse moved a few steps. She glared at the grounder holding its reins – he had _one_ job – and the bearded man shifted in place, tightened his grip on the reins as Clarke clutched onto the saddle and pulled herself up.

She had been quite aware of her late arrival. Lexa had said to be there at sunrise and it was well into the morning by now, but Roan arrived only minutes after Clarke.

"Commander, Ambassador," he lazily greeted them. "All set for the journey, I see?"

"Get on your horse before I kick you onto it,” Indra grumbled threateningly with her hand, as always, on her sword – not even a little fazed by the knowledge she was addressing a king. Lexa pursed her lips and Clarke knew she wasn’t the only one trying to hide her amusement.

Next to the commander, Titus stood silently with his hands clasped in front of him, ever faithful by his Heda’s side.

“We’ll be back in ten days. Keep Indra informed about any military progressions,” Lexa told him. She tapped her horse forward as soon as Titus nodded his understanding. 

Two of the commander's own guards and Roan's Royal Guards sat ready on their dark colored horses, loaded with light travel packs, warm clothing and extra weapons. It was a small party, but it offered enough protection without slowing them down. 

Lexa called out a few words and they were on the move, horses starting the first few steps of the long journey ahead. 

 

//

 

“The shock batons,” Clarke mused distantly, eyes on the dirt road in front of her, “if we could somehow find a way to replicate them... Use them as defibrillators. You know, like with Lincoln? We could give each village-”

“Clarke.”

Hazily, Clarke turned her eyes to the girl riding next to her.

A smile played on Lexa’s lips, suddenly making her look a lot younger in the morning sun. “ _Chil au._ We don’t have to worry about these things right now. You’d be wise to take a moment of peace when it finally presents itself.”

“Did you just tell me to chill out?”

A lazy smirk appeared, formerly unseen and strangely appealing to Clarke. “If we continue at this speed, we will not reach Azgeda for another week.”

To punctuate her words, Lexa spurred her horse forward, eyeing Clarke over her shoulder. The guards behind them followed suit and Clarke did the same, until the party of seven was moving at a fast but steady pace through the woods.

 

//

 

The route they took was beautiful. Clarke had trouble finding a better word for it. 

They had slowed down again after a while, horses returning to a comfortable walk. Clarke had eventually taken Lexa’s recommendation to relax a little, the world’s problems and worries over her people gradually easing from her thoughts. 

The day might have started off grayish, but now the sun was bright and the forest lush. The path they were taking was somewhat familiar to Clarke as they were still in Trikru territory, but she had never seen it this way before: in a time of relative peace. 

It was an odd thing, how the absence of an immediate threat or pressing worries made beauty more apparent. Sunlight fell through the canopy of the forest. Their horses huffed. All things green seemed brighter: the leaves above them, the grass that grew along the path – instinctively Clarke turned her head to the girl next to her, and yes – Lexa’s eyes that glistered in the daylight.

The commander sat on her horse in a trained position, spine straight as ever but her face softer, not just due to the absence of war paint. 

A quirk of Lexa’s lips betrayed her knowledge of Clarke’s gaze on her. When Lexa turned to face her, carefree and obviously enjoying the trip just as much, Clarke couldn’t help the smile it pulled from her cheeks, nor the warmth that spread through her.

Maybe some time with Lexa away from Polis’ eyes wasn’t such a bad thing.

 

//

 

“My guards are hungry and my horse is tiring,” Roan murmured as he pulled his steed up next to Lexa’s, sometime during the afternoon. “Wouldn’t you agree it’s time for a lunch break, Commander?”

Instead of answering, Lexa glanced to her other side. At some point during the journey, Clarke’s face had taken on the resemblance of a pout. She had shifted in her saddle, clearly not too comfortable after their hours of riding. Lexa had chosen not to mention it but she knew the girl was not as used to horseback riding as her own people were. 

With a couple more days to go, they would need to plan their breaks well. Had Lexa been by herself, she would’ve pressed their journey on until sundown. She knew the horses could take it and her guards would’ve followed her without hesitation, but a glance at Clarke made her decide differently.

“Ryder,” she called out, and the addressed guard in front slowed down to listen. “Scout ahead. Find us a resting place.”

He nodded his acknowledgement and took off, the galloping of his horse kicking up dirt from the ground. 

 

//

 

“Azgeda do not mourn,” Roan stated, twirling the piece of bread in his hand. “We don’t have time for grief.”

Clarke frowned, chewing on her own lunch. They sat hunched on a few fallen logs, travel packs discarded on the ground, the horses tied to nearby trees. 

“Then there will be no funeral for the queen?”

“Her soul will be set free in fire,” Roan answered her with monotone, practiced ease that made Clarke doubt how much he believed in those words, “but the queen is dead and the people need a leader.”

He spoke easily about his mother’s passing. From what Clarke had known about their relationship his cold attitude was not entirely surprising, but at the same time she wondered if he was hiding anything behind the stoic rejection of grieving.

“And you’re their new leader,” Clarke offered.

“I’m their king,” Roan mumbled. “The generals that lead the army are used to being in command; the queen often let them have their way. She knew they were loyal. As long as they were ruthless and ready to march into battle with her, she couldn’t care less about the details.”

“But you are to lead them into a new era,” Lexa spoke up. Her eyes were on Roan and the sound of her voice didn’t leave room for much discussion. 

“Right,” he replied unsure, “an era of peace.” 

Clarke’s stomach dropped. She could not help the sudden, dreadful fear that this was going to be a suicide mission. There was a good chance the Ice Nation would dismiss their call for a treaty and look to the generals for command, quite possibly deciding to shoot them full of arrows on their doorstep, but for some reason Lexa – as probably the only one of them – was confident that wouldn’t happen. 

Clarke looked around their travel party of seven. 

“Not just you,” she told Roan, deciding she could have that same faith and putting as much conviction in her voice as she could muster. She held their attention. “It’s not your job alone. Skaikru, Trikru… The commander herself is here to make a stand for this alliance.”

She briefly glanced at Lexa, her heart doing a faint somersault when she met pleased, green eyes. 

“Your people would be idiots to cross us,” Clarke mumbled lightheartedly in conclusion. 

An Ice guard huffed a chuckle.

Roan hummed. “You may be right, Wanheda.”

 

 

Their journey continued not much later with renewed energy and a bright afternoon sky. The landscape remained similar to what they had already crossed, but Lexa informed Clarke that would slowly start to change by tomorrow. 

They rode on until the sun crawled down and the sky turned orange and it was time to make camp.

 

 

It was a shallow cave, hollowed out in a large, rocky wall which would suffice for cover. They had brought tents, but those seemed unnecessary for the night. One of Lexa’s guards disappeared into the forest and came back not much later with three large rabbits and a pouch full of berries. They cooked the rabbits over a fire and washed it down with bitter tasting wine from flasks that were passed around. 

The horses grazed nearby, huffing and working grass between their jaws that had been freed of bridle bits. One of the Ice guards had taken to looking after the horses, brushing them clean and picking out their hooves, and Clarke silently watched him work for a while. His ruthless appearance softened as the horse nudged its nose against him.

Next to Clarke, Lexa sat sharpening her dagger. The simple motion made her look dangerous, the knife’s steel reflecting in her eyes. 

Clarke listened to the repetitive sound with a thoughtful frown. Her own gun was strapped safely to her side – she had convinced Lexa she wasn’t leaving the city without it – but it wasn’t the most convenient weapon in every situation. 

“I need a dagger,” she realized out loud.

The grinding of metal stopped and Lexa looked at her. “Okay.”

Clarke turned to face her, curious about the easy reply. She looked down to find the knife’s hilt presented to her. “This one?”

The commander nodded. “It is a good knife.”

“But it’s yours.” 

Apparently that was not relevant. “You have more need for it then I do.”

Clarke accepted the delicately crafted weapon from Lexa’s hands. 

“Thanks,” she mumbled curiously. 

Lexa offered no further reply but returned her gaze to the whetstone, and seemingly out of nowhere pulled out another dagger. 

Clarke grinned, rolled her eyes.

Of course. 

 

//

 

When nightfall came, it was with a cold wind and a dark, cloudy sky. They stoked the campfire to keep warm and the piney smell filled the air around them. Soon enough Clarke was rubbing her arms and shuffling closer to the fire, the night growing unexpectedly cooler.

Lexa watched. “You should get under the furs, Clarke.”

The bedrolls they had brought would provide warmth and comfort, and Lexa did not wish for Clarke to catch a cold on their first day of travel. 

“Or drink more,” Ryder huffed, offering the flask with half a grin. 

Clarke glanced at him with amusement and reached for her water bottle instead. “I’m all right, thanks.”

“We should rest, get up early tomorrow,” Lexa decided for all of them. Staying up late would do them no good – at least, not all of them. Maybe if it would just be her and Clarke they could talk for a while and shuffle closer for warmth or-

Lexa cleared her throat to clear her mind. She looked at Roan. “One of my guards can take the first watch.”

Roan nodded his agreement and everyone pulled out their bedrolls, positioning them around the fire. As ordered, one of the commander’s guards took post just outside the cave’s mouth, promising to keep the fire going until his shift was over. 

Lexa placed her sword next to her, within reach, and watched Clarke shuffle into her own furs not too far from her. The others had settled down on the opposite side of the campfire, a respectable distance away. In the dim shadow of the cave wall, she and Clarke had their relative privacy.

Clarke propped her jacket underneath her head. She rolled onto her side, facing Lexa.

“We will rise early tomorrow,” Lexa told her softly. She watched Clarke shift, trying to get comfortable. “Cover more distance.”

Although Lexa had sped them up not long after starting their journey, they had not nearly crossed as much distance as they should have. If this would be the going rate, then she had been right and they would not reach the Ice lands for another week. 

She absentmindedly calculated their progression in her head, though she was not worried about it. Her heart thumped, pleased to lie this close to Clarke and spend days by her side, but Lexa silently wondered how long she could use their journey as an excuse to be near her. Her head told her she should not at all, but the fire crackled soothingly and Clarke’s sparkling eyes were still locked with hers.

“I still think this is a terrible idea,” Clarke told her lightheartedly, curling up in the furs a little, “but it it’s not as bad as I thought it would be.”

Lexa’s mouth quirked. “Of course not. A commander only travels with class, Clarke.”

Clarke raised an eyebrow, amused. “Class? That’s what you call this? I think something got lost in translation there, Lexa.”

She let her name softly echo between them and Lexa wondered if any of the others heard, but there was no reaction, not even a shuffle or cough. She carefully allowed a smile, one that she was sure only Clarke would notice. 

“We’ll stop by a lake tomorrow,” Lexa told her. “It will be nice.”

Clarke hummed, a smile that betrayed sleepiness. “I don’t think I’ve heard you use that word before.”

“I use the word ‘lake’ all the time, Clarke,” Lexa stated. “For instance, the _lake_ people, the-”

Clarke chuckled, interrupted her. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. Who knew the commander could be such a smartass.”

Lexa was about to quietly contemplate whether she should dare another witty remark (this time related to her ass), but they were pulled out of the moment by the sound of firewood being shuffled around nearby. The guard on watch stoked the fire and Lexa glanced at him, suddenly reminded of who she was.

Their quiet moment was somewhat broken and Lexa’s body felt a little heavier. “You should rest. The guards will keep watch, you are safe.”

Clarke watched her for another moment, then mumbled, “I know.”

The girl closed her eyes, and Lexa released a breath. In the darkness of the cave she allowed her face to soften and not much later her eyelids drooped, too.

 

// 

 

Her sleep was getting better. The nightmares didn’t come bloody and screaming anymore. They were still there, but they were easier; woke her up with a racing heart but no sweat down her spine. 

Clarke opened her eyes, forcing the dream to a halt. The relief of reality washed over her and it took her a moment to remember her surroundings. The reflection of flames danced across the cave wall, a proof that the fire was still going and that it was still nighttime. She turned onto her other side, wondering if she could catch a glimpse of Lexa. Clarke’s sleepy body welcomed the new position and she almost would’ve fallen asleep again if it weren’t for the sight that greeted her. 

The commander sat with her back against the cave wall, legs pulled up. She seemed to be staring at the cave’s ceiling, toying with the dagger in her hands (which appeared to be a habit, Clarke had noticed).

The flickering of the campfire danced against Lexa’s eyes, and Clarke didn’t speak; merely took to watching her. Her tired eyes were about to close again when Lexa glanced at her. By the shift on her face, she must not have expected Clarke to be awake.

“You’re not sleeping,” Clarke mumbled, voice husky. 

She got no reply. A glance at the cave’s entrance revealed an Ice guard keeping watch. 

“It’s not your shift,” she added.

Lexa’s mouth tugged in irony, and it only took a few seconds for Clarke to realize the commander most likely didn’t trust a Royal Guard with such a task. Although the idea of being watched while she slept was a little unnerving, it also gave Clarke a strange comfort to know Lexa kept guard. Made her feel safe and oddly nostalgic for an earlier night in the woods under much less pleasant circumstances, but where it had just been the two of them.

With that in mind, Clarke realized the commander probably kept herself awake more than necessary. She wondered if the girl was going to get any sleep at all during their journey.

“If these people are going to be our allies,” Clarke mumbled, still tired and already close to giving into sleep again, “the least you can do is let them take a night shift.”

Once again she got no reply. She didn’t open her eyes to see the smile form on Lexa’s lips, and she didn’t notice Lexa shuffle into her own bedroll again after Ryder took watch half an hour later. 

 

// 

 

Like Lexa had said, they rose early the next morning. Their routine was quiet. The horses were saddled and the bags packed. Clarke watched the Ice guards apply a fresh coat of white paint to their faces over the grime and smudges that were still there. 

They let the fire die out and smoldered it with mud. By the time they were ready to leave, the sky was still a pinkish color. The air felt fresh and a few birds hesitantly started their songs. With a final nod from Lexa, they continued their journey. 

 

//

 

“Four days,” Clarke mused, “times two. That means you’ll be gone from Polis for more than a week.”

Next to her, she noticed Lexa nod, hips swaying easily with the horse’s movement. The sun shone in the east and made a perfect outline of the commander’s profile. 

Their second day of travel was going smoothly and left room for wandering thoughts and easy conversations.

Clarke raised an eyebrow. “After Titus’ rant about your last _unnecessary visit_ to Arkadia, I’m surprised he didn’t throw a fuss over you leaving again.”

“He did,” Lexa answered, a smirk playing on her lips. “Titus would rather see me locked in the throne room, ruling as commander from a distance. But my duty is to my people, all of them, and I cannot serve them solely from my chair.” 

Clarke narrowed her eyes, nibbled her lower lip in thought. 

“Be honest,” she started, earning an inquisitive look, “war or no war, with or without urgent matters – what is the longest you’ve ever managed to stay in that tower?”

Lexa averted her gaze, an admitting smile on her cheeks. “A warrior is not meant to sit still, Clarke.”

“And a commander?”

“A commander is a warrior,” Lexa nodded, “just with more responsibilities.”

 

 

The further they went, the more Clarke started to recognize her surroundings. Small creaks where they refilled their water bottles and overgrown ruins they passed reminded her of sleepless days and sore feet and visits to a nearby trading post. 

She had wandered these woods for months and it was hard to forget about the nights she spent in them.

However, a good few hours later, they had left that familiar part of the forest behind them and instead moved into territory where the trees were taller and darker and filled with needles.

Roan breathed in deeply and smiled to himself; Clarke wondered if this was gradually starting to seem like coming home to him. 

 

 

Early in the afternoon, Lexa shot her a grin – unexpected and exciting. 

“ _Hod up,_ ” she called to the riders in front. “We’ll take a break here.” 

The guards didn’t offer any complaints and Roan didn’t seem to mind either, though the call did come a bit unexpected. They didn’t put much effort into their makeshift camp; plopped down onto the ground and let the horses take a break from their luggage. 

Clarke was about to sit down with the others when Lexa came up to her, shoulders all straight and chin high under the mantle of commander. 

Her voice did not match her appearance. “Clarke. I was hoping you’d take a walk with me.”

Taking a walk seemed like the least obvious thing to do in their current situation, but the others were preoccupied with caring for their weapons and horses, and after hours in the saddle Clarke decided stretching her legs wasn’t such a bad idea. The fact that it would give her some alone time with Lexa was only a secondary reason.

Ever watchful over his commander, Ryder moved to follow but a curt shake from Lexa’s head made him stay. He sighed and turned his attention to his lunch again. 

 

 

Clarke felt the leaves and twigs crunch under her boots. She followed after the other girl as Lexa, apparently knowing exactly where she was going, made her way past trees and muddy trails. Clarke frowned and almost asked her to slow down a little, but Lexa’s excitement held her back. 

When they arrived at their destination, splayed below the tree line and highlighted by the sun, it made sense. Clarke grinned at the scenery before her. The lake had a blue shade and Lexa faced her with a quiet expectancy in her eyes. 

Discreetly taking Clarke’s hand, she led them down the small hill and closer towards the waterline. 

Once they had made it across the rocky terrain, which Lexa was undoubtedly using as an excuse to offer a steadying hand, Lexa wasted no time in taking off her boots. 

“Won’t the others come looking for us?” Clarke asked. She followed Lexa’s example and started unlacing her shoes. 

“Ryder will stop them,” Lexa assured her. “The lake is ours for now.”

Before Clarke had even taken off both her socks, Lexa was moving towards the water with her pants rolled up to her knees and dropping her shirt to the ground on the way, leaving her in chest bindings. Clarke observed the commander’s uncharacteristic carelessness with amusement. She picked up Lexa’s discarded shirt and placed it with her own jacket so they wouldn’t lose them. Then, in her tank top and pants, Clarke followed after the other girl. 

 

The water was cold – _really_ cold. Clarke hissed as her feet were submerged. She grit her teeth and fought the urge to just run out again. 

Lexa, who stood knee-deep in the water a little further on, lifted her chin and appeared to be suppressing a grin. She raised a questioning eyebrow.

“It’s… cold,” Clarke explained. 

“Yes,” Lexa deadpanned. She seemed to be enjoying the temperature herself, dragging her hands through the water and waiting for Clarke.

Clarke pouted. “I don’t want to go further.”

“It will get better,” Lexa promised.

Clarke’s teeth clenched a little tighter and she wrapped her arms around her torso, as if that would somehow keep her warmer. She took a few hesitant steps forward, slowly closing the distance between them.

Lexa seemed pleased once they stood next to each other, smiling at Clarke’s grumpy expression. “See? You just have to get used to it.”

Clarke was about to argue that it hadn’t gotten better _at all_ – if anything, her legs were completely frozen right now – when Lexa splashed some water towards her.

Drops of water soaked through her tank top, cooling the skin below. Clarke was shocked. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m helping you get used to the water.” 

In retaliation, Clarke splashed a good wave onto Lexa. “That’s not helping at all!”

Caught off guard by the sudden attack – maybe she _was_ just trying to help, it crossed through Clarke’s mind – Lexa froze. The amount of water Clarke had splashed onto her was enough to cover her complete torso, soaking through her chest bindings and making her toned stomach glisten in the sun.

Clarke stammered out the first few words of an apology, but Lexa chuckled – she _chuckled_ – with her eyes squinting and her shoulders bouncing and she looked so entirely _human_ that Clarke’s cheeks burned.

Clarke was pulled out of her daze by Lexa’s hand wrapping around her arm, pulling her towards the shore again with laughter still in her voice. “Come on.”

 

 

“It really is beautiful here,” Clarke mused as they sat side by side on the shore a little while later, their feet drying in the sun and their shirts back on. 

“It is,” Lexa nodded. They were surrounded by dark trees that contrasted the seemingly blue water. “The northern territory is known for its beauty.” 

Lexa had that vulnerability in her voice again, the one that was never present when people called her Commander. Looking at her, Clarke noticed it on the girl’s face, too.

“The people not so much then?” Clarke asked, curious as to how much Lexa would open up to her. 

“The Ice people are much like their surroundings,” Lexa replied softly. “Cold.”

Clarke knew what that meant. A few birds chirped around them in the trees above, and she fiddled with a loose thread from her shirt. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

When Lexa had mentioned their pit stop the night before, Clarke had more or less expected their whole travel party to take a break at the lake, not this private moment away together. The exceptions Lexa made for her did not go unnoticed by Clarke. They were rather endearing.

Lexa nodded once in acknowledgement, her eyes on the water again. The sun had just reached its highest point in the sky and it warmed them up significantly, though that wasn’t the only reason for the heat on Clarke’s face.

She contemplated asking about their plans once they got to the Ice lands, but decided against it. They would have enough time to discuss it later and she didn’t want to ruin this moment by reminding them of who they were. 

There was a time when the two of them and their people could not be differentiated, a time of war and politics and decisions they had to make without emotion. In the light of the sun, away from everyone else, somewhere near the border of two lands and hidden between rows of trees, things were much simpler. 

Lexa leaned her head back and closed her eyes against the light of the sun, and Clarke wondered if they were finally doing more than surviving. 

 

//

 

“Commander.” Roan watched them arrive back at the group. “I was starting to think you had left without us.”

“It crossed my mind,” Lexa responded stoically, but Clarke could hear the playfulness in her voice. 

Roan gave Clarke a questioning look, a bit unsure about the commander’s reply. 

Clarke shrugged, playing along. “You owe me.”

They checked the straps on their saddles and resecured the supplies. A few apples were handed out for on the way before they mounted up again, ready to travel on.

 

//

 

“Clarke.”

The alarm in Lexa’s voice was the most disturbing thing around her; not the way all warriors reached for the swords on their hips or the narrowing of Roan’s eyes or the deep rise of a guard’s chest. 

Lexa’s voice hid fear and that’s what made the hairs on Clarke’s neck rise.

“Do not move.”

Clarke was, however, in the middle of shifting her weight, and so she carefully settled her foot further down. With wide eyes she locked her gaze on Lexa, occasionally glancing at the other warriors for a clue about the imminent danger, as her spine tensed up with adrenaline. 

Earlier, they had stopped somewhere in the woods to make camp for the night and two of the guards had already left to collect dinner. The rest of them were about to set up the tents, their travelling packs lying only a few feet away while the horses, still at ease, were tied to the trees nearby. 

Clarke is not sure what made everybody panic so suddenly. But if Lexa said you do not move, you do not move. 

And so Clarke froze. A dozen possible dangers flashed through her mind – Emerson’s gun, a panther or pauna, the blade or drawn arrow of an assassin sent to kill them – and Clarke felt vulnerable. She ached to look over her shoulder, to face whatever threat there was, to settle this indecisive fight or flight feeling.

Something rustled behind her, softly and barely touching the leaves of the forest, and Clarke startled at its proximity. Before she could process what it could be her eyes flew to the colorful, striped snake that slid down a branch just off to her side, poking its tongue out, only a few inches away from her.

Instinctively, Clarke flinched. Her first reaction would be to run as far away as possible – but Lexa’s urgent gaze was still on her and Clarke remembered to _not move_ even as her breathing grew heavy. 

“Lexa…”

Lexa was already slowly moving towards her, dagger drawn, as the snake slid further down the branch, brushing against Clarke’s leg. 

“Movement will aggravate it,” Lexa murmured, and Clarke desperately tried to focus on her voice to drown out everything else. “Try to keep still.”

Before the commander could distract the snake, the nearest horse took notice of it as well. It neighed in fear and stomped its foot, tugging on its leash and startling all of them. 

Clarke flinched again – the adrenaline in her body was just too damn high – and the snake, now alert, ducked before diving at her lower leg. 

“Clarke!” Lexa had followed the snake down and scolded her for the movement. With precise hands, Lexa waited for the right moment and managed to cease hold of its head, pushing it to the ground and driving her dagger through its skull. 

Clarke grit her teeth as she watched the snake slither and die. Her lower leg throbbed with pain as if someone had smashed a hammer against it. There was no blood, but by the concerned look on Lexa’s face and the pain she had felt earlier, she knew she had been bitten.

“It’s not poisonous, right?” Clarke’s breathing was heavy. She searched Lexa’s eyes desperately. “Right?”

Clarke raked her mind for anything she had learned in Earth Skills, and remembered that more than seventy percent of snakes used to not be venomous.

_Used to._ She tried to ignore the panicking voice in her head that told her things had changed with radiation and mutations. 

Her heart dropped when Lexa met her eyes. Without giving Clarke a reply, the Commander turned to the others. “We need to find a healer.”


	2. Chapter 2

Instead of moving further into Northern territory, they turned around. Lexa didn’t want to rely on the off-chance that they found a healer in any Azgeda villages they might happen to pass, and she knew her own lands better than any. 

Clarke was still well enough to ride her own horse and said she didn’t feel much different apart from the ache in her leg. Her heart rate was a bit faster and yes, she was sweating a lot, but these things could be just as well from the adrenaline and panic that still trembled under her skin. 

Lexa nodded and didn’t say anything more. She had seen the fang marks and the discoloration of the veins around it. Even if Clarke seemed fine for now, they needed to hurry. Lexa knew the type of snake that had bitten Clarke and she knew how its venom worked. Symptoms could take hours or even a full day to present with the victim hardly noticing anything up until that point, but eventually, without the antidote, it would be fatal. 

And Lexa suspected that Clarke, being a medic’s doctor, was aware of that possibility as well.

 

Snake antidotes were disturbingly scarce in supply. Many healers never got their hands on it and Lexa wrecked her mind for where they might find it. In truth, she would call upon all thirteen clans if it meant that _someone, somewhere_ would have it.

She discussed their options with Ryder, who only mumbled that he knew of a healer in Polis. 

“Roan-”

“I’m a king, Commander, not a healer.”

His guards were of no use either and Lexa couldn’t exactly blame them. It still angered her though that none of them had been able to prevent or at least prepare for this turn of events. And for the first time this journey, Lexa couldn’t help but curse herself for bringing Clarke. 

“The trading post,” Clarke offered, just as Lexa was starting to consider how long it would take for her to gallop with Clarke back to Polis. “There’s one in the area we passed earlier. When I was there before… I saw the antidotes. On the shelves. Maybe it’s one of them.”

Far away from the capitol, they didn’t really have any other options. Lexa nodded her agreement and tried to keep the concern off her face. 

Roan nor his guards objected when they set out for the new destination, not even a mumbled complaint. Their arrival to Azgeda could wait. 

Although they were still close to the border, dusk was settling in. Time was of the essence and so they rode on until it was dark and they could no longer see the path ahead of them.

 

 

When they ultimately had to make camp, Lexa insisted it was a rushed one. They forwent the tents and instead tied a sheet to the trees which served as half a roof and offered enough shelter for a few hours. 

Ryder offered Clarke a tea he made from a mixture of herbs which would at least help against the pain for a while. Clarke accepted without much hesitation.

The air was tense and two guards took up patrol while the others tried to get some rest. A fire had been started again to ward off the night’s chill. Clarke decided not to mention that her vision was getting blurry, the flames mingling in front of her eyes. Instead, she ignored Lexa’s worried gaze and crawled under the furs. 

 

//

 

Once again, Clarke woke in the middle of the night. Not because of a nightmare this time but with a groggy feeling in her brain and cold sweat down her spine. Stubborn as ever, she ignored it and opened her eyes. 

Next to her, Lexa sat wide awake with her sword in her lap, much like the night before. Clarke had been right – the girl was starving herself of sleep. 

“This is ridiculous,” Clarke mumbled, a little annoyed by Lexa’s determination to stay awake. 

Before a confused Lexa had the chance to reply, Clarke was frowning and huffing as she shuffled around in her bedroll to make room and held the cover open as an invitation. “Come on.”

With some hesitation Lexa approached her, quiet to not wake the others. 

“Clarke-”

“Shh.” Clarke’s eyes were already closing again when Lexa relented and awkwardly shuffled in next to her. 

Lexa’s curly hair smelled of campfire and her cheeks still felt a little cold from the night’s breeze. Clarke pulled her close and wrapped an arm around Lexa’s middle, her brain too foggy to really care about anything except that it felt like the right thing to do.

“’S gonna be okay,” Clarke mumbled, her body heavy.

She felt Lexa’s arm curl around her in response.

 

//

 

Lexa woke at dawn. The world was still quiet and the air felt fresh, but the figure against her kept them warm under covers. She took a moment to simply breathe, keeping her eyes closed and trying not to be bothered by the irregular snoring from one of the guards, but all too quickly she remembered the situation they were in. Her heart rate quickened with haste, telling her to move.

Lexa wondered how she had even managed to sleep through such a large portion of the night when time was of such importance. It was her job to make sure they left as early in the morning as possible. 

Without thinking about it she turned to Clarke, intending to wake her, which made Lexa realize that the girl was still cuddled into her. Clarke was pressed against her side, curves melting together, warm and soft and close enough to feel her steady breathing, and Lexa felt herself blush. 

At the same time it made her wonder if this was an effect of the poison starting to muddle Clarke’s mind. 

(She wished she could just hold Clarke in her arms, here, for as long as needed, until the sickness went away on its own.)

(She knew it wouldn’t.)

Careful as ever, Lexa quickly scanned the area but the guards on patrol weren’t in sight. 

“Clarke.” She nudged the girl’s shoulder, again when she only got a grumble in response. “You have to wake up.”

With a lot of blinking Clarke opened her eyes. She stretched a little, sliding the hand that been resting underneath Lexa’s shirt across the skin of her stomach.

It made Lexa freeze, which was enough to make Clarke aware of their position.

“Sorry-”

“-it’s fine.”

There was a moment of quiet in which neither of them moved and Lexa’s stomach was still tense underneath Clarke’s palm. Their silence blended right into the early morning but now that they were both awake, it felt like they were waiting for the other to speak or make a move that would put some distance between them again. 

(Lexa wasn’t sure if she really wanted to.) 

After Clarke’s eyes had traced almost every inch of Lexa’s face, her soft breathing still hitting the skin of Lexa’s neck, Clarke slowly retracted. She moved to lie on her back, allowing both of them to breathe again. 

Clarke closed her eyes and rubbed the spot between her eyebrows. Lexa recognized it as a headache and tore herself out of the moment that had soft feelings floating in her chest, clenching her jaw to swallow down any weakness which could only hinder them right now. 

It was her job to make sure they got to the trading post in time. Her job to keep Clarke safe in the first place, but since she had already failed at that Lexa only scolded herself more for the way worry bubbled into her throat. This was no time to let her heart rule, Clarke _needed_ her to think with her head.

She hurried out of the bedroll to wake the others.

 

//

 

“It’s not nice to poison us like that, Lexa.”

Lexa jerked her head to her side, where Clarke still managed to stay on her horse. They had saddled up again not too long ago and it was still early in the morning, but in the past few hours Clarke’s condition had gone downhill fast. By the faraway look in her eyes and the dreamy sound of her voice, Lexa realized she was starting to hallucinate.

She wanted to deny Clarke’s words, to say that she would never do anything to hurt her, but the slurred words stung in a way that made Lexa unsure if they were a complete lie and so she stayed quiet instead.

Clarke scoffed with what energy she could find and rambled on. “Murphy. So many people hated him, I’m surprised your plan even worked at all. _Should’a lettem die in the woods, Clarke. He gonna get us all killed._ ” 

Lexa tensed her jaw. She remembered how when the Sky people had just arrived, her people had infected one of them with a contagious disease and sent him back. It had spread through the camp, weakening them so the intruders couldn’t put up much of a fight and would be easier to wipe out. 

(It had been Quint’s idea really, but with the threat of a war Lexa had agreed to it.)

It seemed that Clarke’s mind had spiraled back to that time and was reliving the experience.

“You’re going to be fine, Clarke.” Although she really couldn’t speak for their current situation, Clarke had survived the moment she was hallucinating about so Lexa could at least reassure her on that. 

Clarke looked at her with tired but skeptical eyes. “Promise you won’t hurt my people?”

Lexa swallowed. “I promise. I swore to keep them safe, remember?”

Clarke’s fingers played with the reins of her horse. She laughed. “Yeah. You dropped to your knees and everything. I could look straight into your cleavage, you know. Are we married now, Lex?”

Lexa felt her ears turn red. She cleared her throat. “That’s enough, Clarke.”

Behind them, Ryder couldn’t help a smile.

 

//

 

They arrived at the trading post around noon – faster than expected, but slower than Lexa would’ve liked. The last few hours had been grievous to Clarke’s health as the poison started to consume her. If it turned out they were too late after all, Lexa was convinced she’d be the one to blame.

After all, if she hadn’t made them travel so far the day before, there would’ve been less distance to cover to the trading post.

And if she hadn’t called out to make camp at that particular spot, Clarke never would’ve encountered the snake.

And if she hadn’t convinced Clarke to come with her on this journey, she never would’ve been at risk like this.

Then there was still the possibility that there would be no antidote here, which caused a sweat to break out over Lexa’s neck. 

 

“Heda,” Ryder interrupted Lexa’s storming thoughts, guiding a nearly unconscious Clarke off her horse. With her arm around the guard’s shoulder, she could barely stand.

Lexa’s stomach twisted. 

“Stay here,” she ordered them. 

 

Her steps were firm as she made her way into the small building. There were no other customers, only a young woman who stood rearranging some supplies on the shelves. Candles were spread across the room to offer enough lighting and the sweet smell of wax mingled with the dust of antiques.

The employee looked up at the new customer, her expression turning surprised when she found the commander.

“Heda,” the blonde-haired woman greeted her somewhat apprehensive.

Once Lexa figured this was the trading post owner, she wasted no time. “Show me your antidotes.”

The young trader nodded and Lexa followed her to a shelve near the wall where a few rusty bottles and herb pouches were laid out: basic medicine and vitamin boosts. 

Lexa clenched her jaw, refusing to believe this was all there was. “Where is the rest?”

“Heda, I don’t-”

“Antidotes,” Lexa growled, “I need the snake venom antidote.”

The trader’s eyes roamed over her face, and Lexa realized the woman was searching her for symptoms of poisoning.

The trader frowned in worry. “Are you…”

Rage was building under Lexa’s skin. They were wasting valuable time. 

Before she had the chance to properly threaten the woman, there was a commotion at the door and Clarke stumbled in, supported by Ryder.

Both women halted their conversation. With much effort Clarke lifted her head to look at them. Though she was still conscious, her eyes were hazy.

Lexa felt her chest tighten. After all the dangers on the ground, after all they had survived, Clarke could not die by a snakebite. It just felt… wrong. 

“Clarke?”

As things were, Lexa had no time to wonder why Clarke’s name fell so easily from the trader’s lips. 

“She needs to lie down,” Lexa told the woman, whose eyes darted back and forth as she seemed to process the situation. 

“Sha,” she eventually agreed, and pushed through a cloth entrance to the back of the store. “This way.”

Ryder gave a firm nod to assure Lexa he was still supporting Clarke, and they followed after the trader through a small hallway and into a bedroom. 

 

The first thing Lexa noticed were the medicine and remedies stacked on the shelves in the bedroom where the shopkeeper was rummaging through them, a small frown on her otherwise calm face.

“You’re a healer,” Lexa concluded. 

The woman clenched her jaw and gave Lexa a short, apologetic glance. Apparently having found what she was looking for she opened a small, metal box, revealing a vial with clear liquid: anti-venom.

A rush of relief washed through Lexa. She was torn between gratitude and ripping the vial out of the woman’s hands to do it herself as quickly as possible, and maybe put her on a tree for wasting their time earlier.

Before Lexa could decide, the trader approached Clarke who had been laid down on the bed.

“Clarke.” The woman placed her wrist on the girl’s forehead to check her temperature with a gentleness that made Lexa uncomfortable. Receiving no reply, she glanced back up at the others. “When did it happen?”

“Yesterday,” Ryder answered, his arms restless at his side as he stood in the room. “Before dusk.”

The healer took a deep breath in response. Even if she gave Clarke the antidote, which was rare enough to kill for, it could already be too late. 

Still, the woman unscrewed the cap of the bottle and readied an injection. “I cannot promise this will work.” 

Lexa’s knuckles were white from the grip on her sword’s hilt. “I know.”

“If it does, we’ll know within a few hours.” The room was silent as the healer administered the antidote, all of their attention on Clarke’s shallow breathing. 

The trader nodded to herself once it was done. “Now we wait.”

 

//

 

Niylah carefully reached for a small knife on the shelf next to her. In the middle of her shop, casually browsing through her wares, stood someone she had seen before.

“Can I help you?” she asked the man who looked much cleaner now than last time, showing off the noticeable Azgeda scars on his face.

“It’s not me that needs helping,” he replied, glancing at the hall where she had left Clarke to rest. 

“If I remember correctly,” Niylah continued, not releasing the grip on the knife behind her back yet, “you came here before, looking for Wanheda.”

Roan huffed a laugh. “Yes, well. As you can see, I’ve found her.”

His posture was anything but hostile and Niylah eased her grip on the knife. One of the commander’s guards passed the both of them without batting an eye, almost confirming there was no threat here.

It was all still a bit confusing to Niylah – the last time she had seen Clarke, the girl held a noticeable grudge against the commander and this bounty hunter was after her. Now they were both with her. Part of Niylah wondered if Clarke was in any danger with them, though saving her life seemed to be on the forefront of everyone’s mind.

Niylah dwindled over to the counter, busying herself with organizing some supplies. “So what is an Azgeda warrior doing so far from his homeland?”

Roan put the dagger holster he had been inspecting back on one of the shelves. He narrowed his eyes. “I was actually on my way back home… not that it is any of your business.”

“But then Clarke got bitten,” Niylah filled in.

Roan hummed. “The sooner you fix her up, the faster we can leave again.”

Niylah sighed and glanced towards the hallway. “You might be here a while.”

 

//

 

Lexa sat in a chair by Clarke’s side, her fingers playing with strands of blonde hair and a frown on her young face. She had sent Ryder away a few minutes ago, told him to make camp next to the trading post since they would have to stay overnight. In truth, she just needed some time alone.

A soft whimper from Clarke’s lips made adrenaline jolt through Lexa’s body. She took hold of Clarke’s limp hand, squeezing softly, but got no response. The girl was still unconscious. 

Lexa’s mind wandered back to the day before, when they had gone to the lake. She couldn’t help but remember how Clarke’s eyes had sparkled in the warm sunlight, how butterflies had exploded in Lexa’s belly like she was a youngster in love every time Clarke looked at her, how free she had felt when it was just the two of them.

It seemed like a faraway dream now, in this dimly lit bedroom. Lexa’s eyes were starting to burn with blurriness but she blinked it away. This was no time to be weak.

 

“She’s strong.” Niylah stood in the door opening, her shoulder against the frame. 

Lexa was unsure how long the woman had been there, or if she would have noticed her if the trader hadn’t spoken up. 

The woman took another breath, as if getting ready to say more. Lexa imagined it to be something like _she will get through this_ but the words never came and Lexa was glad for it. A commander doesn’t need consolation and especially not false hope.

The trader moved further into the room and picked up the medical kit she had used earlier, tidying its contents. 

“You know her,” Lexa broke the silence. She had figured out that much.

The shopkeeper halted in her movement before closing the box and putting it back on the shelf it came from.

“I do,” she replied. “Last time I saw Clarke she was being hunted.”

Lexa remembered that time all too well, including the sleepless nights it had caused her. It made her stomach curl to think about. “Then what is she to you?”

Niylah observed the two of them for a moment, leaning against a small desk near the wall. “A close friend.”

Though she seemed honest enough, there was something about her that put Lexa on guard. It was the way she looked at Clarke, the way she had taken care of her with too much familiarity. The way it made Lexa remember _not yet_ and wonder if this woman had jumped right past that.

But that was hard to explain, and so Lexa chose a different approach instead. She stood up and walked closer to the trader, her fingers flexing around their familiar position on the hilt of the sword.

“Next time your commander asks you for an antidote, you give it,” she growled, fixing the other woman with a harsh look. “No questions asked.”

Lexa knew why the trader had been reluctant to share the antidote. Still, the woman had reached for it without hesitation when it came to Clarke’s life – which, again, was something that Lexa felt both relieved and uneasy about. 

“Sha, Heda.”

A soft groan escaped Clarke’s through lips and all of Lexa’s attention was drawn back to the girl on the bed. For now, she decided, she couldn’t care less about anyone else in the room.

“Leave us.”

 

//

 

“I told you this trip was a bad idea.”

Clarke’s groggy voice broke Lexa out of her daze, her eyes burning from staring into nothingness and her fist unclenching from the painful grip on her sword’s hilt. For a moment Lexa wasn’t sure Clarke had spoken at all, but then she found the girl looking right at her with a small but playful smirk on her lips. 

“Clarke.” Lexa’s own voice was just as hoarse. She studied cloudy blue eyes, relieved beyond words to see them again. “How do you feel?”

“Like someone has shot me in the leg,” Clarke murmured as she sat up a little. “And like the rest of my body is having a panic attack about it.”

Lexa handed her a cup of water from a nearby table and fought the urge to take hold of her hand again. “You’ll feel better soon.”

Clarke took a moment to take in her surroundings, sighing in relief. “So I guess Niylah had the antidote then?”

_Niylah._

“Yes.”

_Niylah, whose bedroom Clarke recognizes._

“She did.”

Lexa’s face didn’t betray the way her heart stormed inside her chest. Instead, she allowed Clarke to link their fingers together where they rested on the covers.

“Good.” Clarke smiled a little at her. “I wasn’t ready to die yet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that we can all breathe again...


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey.”

Clarke grinned at the familiar voice. “Hey.”

She was sitting up in bed, still fighting the occasional bout of dizziness. After reassuring Lexa (multiple times) that she was okay and that nothing was going to happen if she left Clarke’s side for a moment, the commander had left the room to oversee the camp that was being set up outside. Although a little bored, Clarke knew she needed to rest as much as she could and so she had dutifully stayed in bed, dozing off every now and then.

Niylah walked further into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. Clarke didn’t hesitate to take her hand and squeeze it, full of gratitude.

“Thank you,” she said, not needing to explain for what.

Niylah smiled. “This seems rather familiar.” 

“Somewhat.”

“I noticed you’re not on your own anymore, though. No longer on the run.” Niylah placed her wrist on Clarke’s forehead again, checking for fever. Finding none, she stood up to grab a healing salve from her desk. “Heda seemed rather worried about you.”

“Yeah, well,” Clarke huffed, scrambling for an explanation that wouldn’t involve either of their feelings, especially since they were still rather unclear, “it wouldn’t do for her to lose a fellow leader on a business trip.” 

Niylah hummed, unconcerned, almost as if it was none of her business anyway and she had only mentioned it to mess with Clarke. 

“Skaikru is the thirteenth clan now,” Clarke continued, figuring she might as well catch Niylah up on recent events. “So I stayed in Polis, as their ambassador. Then politics got crazy and Lexa and I decided to go on this trip to build our relations with the Ice lands, and… well, here we are.”

Niylah eyed her curiously at the use of the commander’s first name, but made no comment on it. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Uncovering the bruise on Clarke’s leg, she started spreading the cooling salve over the wound, the two fang marks still an angry red. 

“You were lucky, you know.”

Clarke stared off into the room and bit her lip. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“With the snake, I mean.” Niylah looked up at her.

“Oh.” Clarke felt her cheeks heat. She ignored Niylah’s amused expression. “Yes, I know.”

She was glad when Niylah didn’t comment on the evident blush on her face. The trader moved to the dresser near the wall and took out a clean shirt from a drawer. 

“Thought you could use some fresh clothes,” Niylah explained, placing it next to Clarke on the bed. “Are you going to need help to put this on?”

Clarke shook her head, feeling like she had enough strength to do it herself. “I got it, thanks.”

Niylah nodded. “If you need anything more, let me know, okay?” 

 

// 

 

“It would be easier to just leave her here.”

“Do not question me,” Lexa growled at her guard, not wanting to explain herself. After all, they expected a commander to rule with her head, and Lexa hadn’t found a reason yet that would justify this – at least not one that didn’t involve her feelings for Clarke. “Now move her to the tent.”

Clarke had slept the rest of the day away as her body needed all the rest it could get. However, nightfall was approaching and Lexa had decided she couldn’t stay in this room. It was too far away from her own tent. 

So as soon as Ryder had told her the camp was set up, Lexa insisted they moved there. Although Niylah had assured them Clarke would be safe here for the night, Lexa didn’t like the idea. After all, she could take care of Clarke herself and the girl would certainly be safer in the commander’s tent than in some random trading post bedroom. Obviously the life of Wanheda was too valuable to be trusted away, and in this vulnerable state Lexa took it as her duty to… protect Clarke. 

Yes, that was good. 

 

(After what had happened Lexa had the longing to press the girl against her chest and keep her there forever, and if that wasn’t an option she would still have Clarke as close as possible.)

(But anything would be better than Niylah’s bedroom.)

 

From the bed, Clarke watched the interaction with silent amusement. 

“Lexa.”

“Hm?”

“Do I get any say in this?”

Lexa shifted in place, taken aback. “Of course. Speak freely, Clarke.”

Clarke could plainly see the nervousness on Lexa’s face and wondered if it was just as obvious to the others, though all eyes were on her right now. She could only guess why this mattered so much to the commander. But if the previous nights had been any indication, Clarke knew that if she stayed here, Lexa would probably not get much rest. 

“Well, my leg still hurts.” Clarke sat up and rubbed at the sensitive skin. The swelling had gone down but it still looked bruised. “So I’ll need some help to move there.”

Receiving a nudge from Lexa, Ryder gave an unsure look but then followed the order. Clarke threw her arm over his shoulder and the bulky man helped her stand up. She gave Niylah a reassuring smile before they left the room.

Niylah watched quietly. “I’ll need to check on her again tomorrow.”

“Then you’ll know where to find us,” Lexa replied, looking at the trader like she dared her to challenge her, before following the others outside.

 

//

 

Since their travel party was small, the tents they had brought weren’t as spacious as Clarke had seen them before. However, the tent she would share with Lexa was still large enough to move around in while a makeshift double bed stood in the corner. 

Ryder had been dismissed again and Clarke sat on the bed, watching Lexa busy herself with whatever little thing she could find: rolling up some maps that were laying around, systematically checking all her weapons before putting them away, keeping her back to Clarke as much as possible.

“Hey,” Clarke started, having noticed that something felt off about the girl. “Are you okay?”

“I am fine, Clarke,” Lexa responded almost too easily, too quickly. 

Clarke frowned. That didn’t reassure her at all. She ignored the way the world spun a little as she got up and stepped a little closer to the other girl. 

She lowered her voice. “You know none of this was your fault, right?”

It was a mere guess as to what could be bothering her, but Lexa froze for a moment, her spine tense, and Clarke suddenly realized how deeply this whole situation was affecting the commander.

It upset Clarke to see her this way, especially knowing that she was the cause. Hoping to console Lexa in some way – then wondering if Lexa ever allowed _anyone_ to comfort her – she closed the distance between them and turned Lexa to face her. The commander stayed quiet, still frozen, but didn’t pull away. 

Ignoring the way their proximity almost overwhelmed her herself, Clarke cupped the side of Lexa’s face and pulled her closer so their foreheads could rest together. She ran her thumb over Lexa’s cheek, pulled a strand of curly hair behind her ear. “Lexa.”

Barely noticeable, Lexa swallowed. They were too close for their eyes to meet and so she kept them cast downwards instead. 

“Did I scare you?” Clarke prompted, knowing by now that Lexa was not one to start a conversation about her feelings.

“Yeah,” Lexa huffed, as if that shouldn’t be a question at all. “You scared me. I thought… I didn’t know what-”

The rest was cut off by a shaky breath. 

Clarke moved her arm to embrace the girl’s middle, pulling them against each other. “Yeah. I know.”

For a moment they were quiet, until Clarke got distracted by Lexa’s lips and found herself thinking about how much she wanted to kiss the girl. Dizziness hit her hard and she had to remind herself that she was trying to help, not make things complicated here. 

“It’s okay though, you know that, right?” Clarke said, squeezing Lexa’s arm to get her attention. “I’m okay. Everything’s fine.”

Lexa shook her head, her eyes filling with shame. She pulled away a little. “It’s not fine, Clarke. As commander, it is my duty to protect my people. And once again I prove to be incapable of simply protecting those right next to me – from a wild snake, of all threats.” 

“Lexa, this was not your fault.”

Clarke’s words seemed to fall on deaf ears. 

“I was careless, Clarke. I never should’ve put you in danger like this. I shouldn’t have asked you to come with us-”

“Stop it.” Clarke would not hear any more. “There is no place I’d rather be than with you. Snakebitten or not.” 

The weight of her words settled over both of them at the same time and the silence that followed hung heavy between them. It lasted several moments, the light of the candles flickering around them. 

Lexa broke it unexpectedly. “Where did you get that shirt?” 

“Uhm, I-” Clarke stuttered, frowning at the random question, “Niylah gave it to me.”

“Take it off,” Lexa said, turning to grab one of their travel packs.

“What?”

“We brought clothes.” Lexa pulled out a clean set of clothes from the bag.

“Oh. Okay.” Clarke saw no reason to decline and with a swift motion took off the loose-fitting shirt she was wearing. 

She found Lexa frozen and looking at her with almost comically wide eyes. The young commander cleared her throat and tore her gaze away from Clarke’s suddenly exposed skin. 

“You said take it off,” Clarke defended, confused at the blush that crept to Lexa’s ears.

“I didn’t mean right now,” Lexa hissed. 

Clarke took the new shirt from Lexa’s hands. “Oh, come on. You didn’t hesitate either when we went swimming before.”

Still looking the other way, Lexa couldn’t hide her smile. Once Clarke had her shirt back on, Lexa blew out the few candles in the tent. It was getting late.

Clarke had already moved to the bed in the corner and watched Lexa strip herself of her jacket and belts before lying down next to her, a few inches between their resting bodies.

Clarke looked at the other girl in the dim light of their tent. She reached into the space between them and put her hand on Lexa’s arm, brushing her thumb in a soothing motion until the young commander’s face visibly relaxed a little more.

“No need to keep guard tonight,” Clarke mumbled. “You can sleep.”

 

//

 

“You really are doing much better,” Niylah smiled. “No more fever. No more swelling in your leg. How do you feel?”

“Good,” Clarke answered, watching the healer grind some herbs into powder. She and Lexa sat at a small table in the backroom of the trading post. “I’m not dizzy anymore either. I think I’m almost back to normal.”

“Did you sleep well?” 

“She did,” Lexa cut in. Clarke looked up at her with surprise. How Lexa could possibly know this was a mystery to her: the girl had miraculously fallen asleep before Clarke herself and Clarke even had the delight of watching the innocence on Lexa’s sleeping face for a few minutes when she woke before her this morning. 

However, Lexa was not wrong: Clarke had slept well, and so she didn’t correct her.

“Okay, well,” Niylah hesitated under Lexa’s heavy gaze. “You should stay until noon. I’ll make another one of these for you.”

She handed Clarke the vitamin boost with a warm smile. 

Lexa stood up, puffing out her chest a little. “We will see. I’m sure one of my warriors could make the same simple mixture, if needed. Clarke and I are needed for important matters, we should not linger too long at a simple trader’s post.”

Clarke gave Niylah an apologetic smile, who didn’t seem too fazed by Lexa’s words. After thanking her for the medicine and excusing them, Clarke led Lexa outside. 

“Lex,” she murmured, “is there something we need to talk about?”

“Is there?” Lexa responded stoically, her eyes surveying their small camp outside. Her shoulders and face were set in that of the commander’s, hiding whatever emotion she might be feeling.

“Want to tell me why you’re acting so cold to the woman who saved my life?” 

“I don’t like her,” Lexa replied with a shrug and Clarke almost wanted to laugh at the commander’s unusual behavior. 

“You don’t like her? Niylah has done nothing but help us.”

“Because she cares about you.”

Clarke’s brow furrowed. “Yes. And quite possibly because the freaking commander keeps sending her intimidating death stares. She’s just trying to help.”

“She didn’t seem that eager to help before she knew it concerned you. She lied to me about the antidote, Clarke. It could’ve cost you your life. That is a crime.”

“Oh. Nuh-uh.” Clarke fixed her with a look that left no room for argument and pointed a finger against Lexa's chest. “You are not doing what I think you’re trying to do. You are not harming her in any way, Lexa.”

Lexa stayed silent for a moment, trying to battle Clarke’s gaze with her own. “You care about her.”

All of this was starting to sound awfully familiar to Clarke. “I do. She’s my friend.”

Then, finally realizing what this might be about, Clarke reached for Lexa’s lower arm, trying not to laugh at the slight adorableness of the situation. “Are you jealous?”

Lexa raised her chin a little, refusing to meet Clarke’s eyes. “I’m the commander, Clarke. I do not get jea-”

“Okay,” Clarke cut her off, dragging Lexa away from camp and to the other side of the building where they would have some privacy and could hopefully talk this over. 

 

 

Once they were at the back of the trading post, Clarke turned to her. “There is nothing going on between me and Niylah, if that’s what you’re concerned about.”

“And yet you recognized her bedroom.”

Clarke let out a sigh, her head falling forward a little. She had hoped they wouldn’t have to discuss this, but it seemed inevitable. “Yes. During my time in the woods, I came here often to trade whatever I had caught. One time I got injured during a fight, and Niylah patched me up.”

Lexa studied the ground. 

Clarke took a moment to breathe. “Look, whatever there was-”

“It’s fine, Clarke,” Lexa interrupted. “Your business is your own and you shouldn’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“I do when you’re acting all weird like this,” Clarke countered. Lexa was about to retaliate but Clarke took hold of her hands, leaving them swinging between them and breaking some of the tension. She lowered her voice to a mumble. “I know you still have feelings for me. That’s why I’m telling you not worry about it. I don’t… feel for her what I feel for you.”

Their eyes met and she gently pulled them closer to each other.

“Clarke.”

But Clarke had already made the decision and closed the final distance between their lips. The longing to kiss Lexa again had been growing under her skin in the past few days and all she wanted was to give in. If it would convince Lexa that her feelings were real and that she wasn’t just leading the girl on, even better.

She enjoyed the moment as long as she could, but kept the kiss short. Lexa was visibly in a daze when she pulled back and it made Clarke chuckle. 

“I thought you knew,” Clarke told her, resting their heads together. “I thought you knew I like _you_.”

“I’m sorry,” Lexa spoke softly. 

“It’s okay,” Clarke mumbled back, “you’re kind of cute when you get jealous.”

With a dip of her head the smiles on their lips connected. Clarke buried her hand in Lexa’s hair, glad to be kissing her again. Although she was aware of the fact that they shouldn’t get too carried away – privacy was a feeble thing with guards around – Clarke soon found herself pressing the other girl into the side of the building, her body firmly against Lexa’s. Judging by the sound that left Lexa’s mouth it was unexpected but definitely not unwelcome. Clarke smiled when their noses brushed together and leaned in to kiss her again.

This time Lexa’s lips were different from before. They were demanding, her tongue brushing against Clarke’s lower lip in search for something more. Clarke’s stomach flipped in arousal and she didn’t hesitate to deepen the kiss.

Lexa’s hands gripped her hips and swiftly turned them around until Clarke’s back hit the side of the building. Before Clarke knew it Lexa had pushed a thigh between her legs and was nudging against Clarke’s jaw to gain access to her neck. 

Clarke’s head fell back at the glorious feeling and she swallowed a moan. In the back of her mind she vaguely wondered if they really should be doing this right now, with the risk of others seeing them, but Lexa’s teeth grazed her skin and she forgot why it mattered. 

Clarke had one hand in curly hair, the other gliding underneath Lexa’s shirt to feel the skin there, while the girl pressed sucking kisses to her neck, making Clarke’s pulse throb against Lexa’s mouth and thigh. She lifted her hips for more friction, but after a few slower kisses Lexa pulled back. 

Clarke’s hands still fumbled with the side of Lexa’s shirt, wondering why she had stopped so suddenly. 

Lexa straightened her spine and cleared her throat. “We should probably go back now.”

Looking at the other girl, Clarke became aware of a burn just above her collarbone. She raised her eyebrows, her hand reaching to feel the sensitive skin. “Did you just give me a hickey?”

“I do not know what a hickey is.”

“You marked me.”

When Lexa did not reply, only a somewhat self-pleased expression on her face, Clarke’s mouth fell open in disagreement. “That’s not fair!”

Lexa shrugged, leading them the first few steps back to camp. “Don’t worry. I’ll let you mark me plenty soon, if you wish.”

 

//

 

Although Clarke had made it quite clear that she only had feelings for Lexa, Niylah was a totally different concern and what had been bothering Lexa in the first place. 

Perhaps Clarke was unaware that the woman still had feelings for her – which, to Lexa, was completely reasonable. People had a hard time being mere friends with Clarke without falling for her; Lexa had seen it happen to enough Sky people. 

Clarke stood talking with Niylah near the trading post entrance. Lexa watched with a tight grip on the hilt of her sword as the trader smiled sweetly and stepped a little closer to Clarke to continue their conversation that was out of Lexa’s earshot. 

Lexa grinded her teeth. She busied herself with packing up their final things around camp, getting ready to leave again. She had decided they would continue to the Ice lands while sending one of her guards with a message to Polis, so Indra would know their return was delayed. Continuing with only one personal guard was a bigger risk, though she wasn’t sure how much of a difference it made.

She threw a look towards Clarke again and was startled to see Niylah lean in to whisper something in Clarke’s ear. Lexa growled internally and stepped towards them. She might trust Clarke, but that did not mean she would let another woman try to seduce her like this.

 

Lexa came up to them with steel in her eyes and halted at Clarke’s side. 

Niylah chuckled and quirked a knowing eyebrow at Clarke. “It is like I said.”

Clarke smiled and shook her head. For a moment Lexa felt completely out of place, as if she had been made a joke of, but then Clarke grabbed her face and planted a firm kiss on her cheek. 

“Heda,” Niylah bowed her head, “it was my honor having you. I hope you will find time to visit again in the future.”

Lexa was taken aback by both Clarke’s sudden affection and the trader’s offer. She squared her shoulders and tried not to let it show. 

Clarke had apparently already said her goodbyes as she walked off towards the horses, leaving the other two women alone.

“Thank you,” Lexa said, deciding to be civil. “For your hospitality and for saving Clarke’s life.”

Niylah nodded, holding Lexa’s gaze. “I would be a fool to let the commander’s love interest die.” 

The words took Lexa by surprise. She hadn’t expected anyone to plainly call her out on her feelings for Clarke, and now that someone did Lexa almost wanted to deny it and maybe kill the trader, just to be sure, in order to protect both of them. 

It was a stupid feeling, since she had given in to the urge to claim Clarke in whatever subtle way she could. Of course Niylah would notice.

(If Lexa was honest, that had kind of been the point.)

A little further away, Ryder called out that they were ready to go. Lexa ignored him.

“She has always cared for you,” Niylah continued, taking Lexa’s silence as a sign to go on, “from the moment I met her. As her friend, I only ask that you keep her safe.”

Lexa threw a look over her shoulder, where Clarke was getting ready to mount her horse. The trader was a fool if she thought Lexa would not do everything in her power to protect Clarke.

She gave Niylah one final nod, leaving the rest unspoken between them, and turned to walk towards the others. 

“She’s quite stubborn, you know,” Niylah called after her, a grin on her face. “Be careful not to let her ruin you, Heda.”

Lexa knew as much by now. Amusement flashed in her eyes but she kept walking, mounted her horse and called out the order to be on the move.

 

//

 

“Do you want to know what she said?” Clarke asked the moment she pulled her horse up to Lexa’s own.

“I don’t need to know what she said. It’s between you and her.”

“She said that you were the most obvious lovesick person she had ever met, but that I wouldn’t be safer with anyone else,” Clarke told her, throwing in a chuckle as the sun shone through the canopy of trees above them, “and that commanders are known to mark their territory.” 

“Clarke,” Lexa hissed, her ears turning a shade of red while she checked to see if any of their travel companions had overheard them. 

Clarke chuckled.

“Don’t worry,” she winked, “You’re not the only commander here.” 

Lexa subtly choked on her own breath. She turned to Clarke with large eyes but Clarke laughed brightly and kicked her horse into a trot – and Lexa’s heart leaped, barely believing this was the same girl who she had almost lost a few days ago.

Lexa’s fingers tingled with excitement and her stomach fluttered with happiness, and she sped up her horse until they were next to each other again.

“I’ll have you know that mark was meant as a warning to any possible Azgeda charmers,” Lexa defended. “They can be quite persistent. This way you won’t be a target.”

“Azgeda charmers, huh?”

Lexa nodded, standing by her reason. “Beguilers, seducers. Lonely warriors.” 

“Sounds like the Ice lands are going to be exciting.” Clarke smirked and quirked an eyebrow. “Lead the way, Commander.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for now! I have no plans on continuing the story but if a wicked Azgeda plotline comes to me I'll get to working on it.   
> Thank you for your support and I hope you enjoyed.


End file.
